The ambivalence of suicide

By Roxana Colman-Herak

Each of us has an inner teacher, a voice of truth that offers guidance and wisdom needed to deal with our problems--But, that inner voice is often garbled by inward and outward interference. Parker Palmer, A Hidden Wholeness.

SAMHSA (Substance Abuse & Mental Health Services Administration) recently awarded the Confederated Salish & Kootenai Tribes Circle of Trust Youth Suicide and Early Prevention Project a 3-year grant award totaling $500,000. In this first year we will be focusing on suicide prevention education in our tribal and non-tribal community. We are all affected by the stinging effect of suicide. Planning, collaboration and networking with law enforcement, mental health, community volunteers, schools, spiritual leaders, clergy are all critically important in life promoting activities and prevention. Prior to 2000, there was no statewide or strategic efforts to link resources to build a stronger network to address suicide. In the fall of 2007, the Confederated Salish and Kootenai Tribes began working on a Suicide Prevention Action Plan that incorporates three educational strategies: prevention, intervention and postvention activities.

The timeless question, why would someone see suicide as an option to end life has haunted our community for too long and answers don’t come easily, if ever. Suicide is appropriately called and felt to be a Taboo Topic. What has emerged and continues to be awakened in our community is a “sincere desire to learn more about what can be done to help someone at risk of suicide." The individuality of suicide makes it impossible to speak specifically to what someone may have been thinking or feeling in the moment the choice was made to end life. Contrary to belief, suicides don’t always happen spontaneously-most people who commit suicide have reached out for help in one way or another. Talking to someone about suicide does not make someone start thinking about suicide-the thought was already there.

Many reading this article may have, at some point heard someone make statements: “no one cares, I wouldn’t be missed, I can’t take the pain anymore, no one understands or no one is listening." If someone told you they were thinking about suicide, what would you do? What would you say? For most, it is an uncomfortable topic.

231 individuals have completed ASIST trainings since August of 2007. The more helpers who are willing to help the better chance we have to make a difference. We can be better listeners, better caregivers, better parents, better friends and better prepared for that person who says to you that they are thinking about suicide.

Eighty percent of our population has had thoughts of suicide at some point in life. It’s no secret that we all have problems and may find ourselves caught in confusion, despair and feelings of hopelessness but we have managed to find our way through life’s mazes. Problems that continue to be compounded over time, however become a serious concern for the person at risk. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary situation. The more we share experiences and support each other, the greater the understanding and appreciation we gain for that person who is desperately trying to sort through their thoughts. Many people have shared that what was most helpful getting through the tough times is having someone who cares enough to listen without the added burden of judgment.

Life itself takes us to places that test and tax our emotional well-being and sadly alcohol, drugs and fast fixes have come to be a norm to dealing with life situations. When we find ourselves in unfamiliar territory it is not uncommon to feel like running away, moving away, isolating, or self-medicating with alcohol and drugs. Life will prevail over death if given half a chance. Perhaps there are options and choices that can be considered to give life a chance. Suicide crosses all boundaries, every age group, every culture, and every race and every age. It is not going to just going to go away because we want it. We need to want change so bad that we are willing to learn how to be better helpers...better listeners. The need for more helpers has arrived.

According to figures released by the U.S. Substance Abuse and Mental Health Service Administration, in 2004 and 2005 on drug use and health in Montana had the seventh highest rate of depression (20 percent higher than the national average). Suicide was the second leading cause of death for youth 10-24 years of age, surpassed only by accidental injuries such as automobile accidents, drowning and fire. Approximately 70 percent of teen suicides in the US have alcohol or drugs in their systems upon death. For every completed suicide by youth, it is estimated that there are 100-200 attempts.

Most suicidal people desperately want to live, but can’t see a way out of what of what is often a temporary situation. Most suicidal people give definite warning signals of their intentions, but those in close contact with them miss, avoid, dismiss or are unaware of the significance of these signals.

The Montana Warmline 1-877-688-3377 is up and running. On September 1, 2008 the Montana WARM LINE opened. The WARM LINE is a non-crisis line staffed by primary consumers for people with who want to talk to a peer about issues or problems they are facing. The WARM LINE is a safe, confidential place to talk about what is really going on. Listening and being heard can be a rich, rewarding experience. WARM LINE provides a friendly and understanding person when you just need someone to talk to. The Montana Mental Health Association has also created a “Virtual Drop-In Center," that utilizes the telephone and internet to provide home-based services for people with mental illness. Check it out www.montanawarmline.org for schedules and information on upcoming groups and programs. Blog users have access to resources and support online. The WARM LINE is not a crisis line, however operators can refer people who are considering suicide to appropriate services. Through a 3-way calling, WARM Line staff can access emergency services if needed. If you are a mental health consumer interested in working on the WARM LINE contact MMHA at 877-927-6642 for details.

What is ASIST (Applied Suicide Intervention Skills Training)?
ASIST is a 2-day workshop designed to teach caregivers to competently and confidently intervene with an individual at risk of suicide. ASIST prepares individuals from all walks of life to integrate principles of intervention into everyday practice. ASIST is divided in four learning modules: attitudes, knowledge, intervention and resources that are illustrated with case studies, videos, live dramatizations, simulations and practice exercises. Each workshop is limited to 30 participants,

What is safeTALK (Suicide Alertness)
safeTALK is a new LivingWorks suicide alertness program that teaches community members to recognize persons with thoughts of suicide and to connect them to suicide intervention resources. safeTALK prepares community members of all kinds to be suicide alert helpers. safeTALK participants are aware that opportunities to help a person with thoughts of suicide are sometimes missed, dismissed and avoided. They want persons with thoughts to invite their help. They know the TALK steps (Tell, Ask, Listen and KeepSafe) and can activate a suicide alert. The keep safe step connect persons with thoughts of suicide to trained community resources in suicide intervention for help. safeTALK is designed to be used in organizations and communities where there are ASIST-trained caregivers. safeTALK developed because not everyone can commit to a 2-day ASIST workshop. safeTALK complements the work of ASIST and other intervention-trained caregivers. Seating limited to 30.

For more information about upcoming Applied Suicide Intervention Skills Training “ASIST" or safeTALK contact Roxana Colman-Herak at Circle of Trust Suicide Prevention Program (406) 270-8631, (406) 675-2700 ext 1237 or Marty Herak at (406) 644-0797.

Circles of Trust
Circles of Trust groups are underway. If you are interested in becoming a facilitator or attending please contact Roxana (406) 270-8631, Marty (406) 644-0797 or Robert (406) 883-2127. Circles of Trust are not a support group in the way we have perceived or experienced a support group. It is a sacred space where a wounded soul is welcomed and supported. Circles of Trust are about community.

Many of us face a dilemma when trying to deal with personal problems, questions, or decisions. We know that the problem is ours alone to resolve and that we have the inner resources to resolve it, but accessing our own resources is often blocked by layers of inner “stuff"-confusion, habitual thinking, fear, despair. We know that friends might help us uncover our inner resources and find our way, but by exposing our problem to others, we run the risk of being invaded and overwhelmed by their assumptions, judgments, and advice. A Circle of Trust doesn’t attempt to fix, advise, save or set anyone straight.