Preventing abuse: knowledge goes a long way

By Maggie Plummer

PABLO - When it comes to dealing with sexual assault, rape, and child abuse, "knowledge can make a difference," says attorney Eleanor Guerrero.

She presented a late November "Community Safety and You" training at the Tribal Complex, focused on abuse issues, interventions and prevention practices.

Sponsored by the Tribal Department of Human Resource Development and the Crime Victim Advocates Program, the training covered such topics as: how to recognize signs of sexual abuse, emotional abuse and neglect; how to report those things; how to recognize denial; what to do when sexual assault happens; what men can do to help end violence against women; alcohol consumption and how it relates to sexual assault; common public beliefs about sexual assault; how to interview a sexual assault victim; crime victims' rights; and how to aid victims of sexual assault.

A Red Lodge resident, Eleanor brings 15 years of experience as a national trainer, and 30 years of experience as an attorney, to her presentations. She is a former prosecutor in domestic violence and juvenile crime, as well as a former tribal prosecutor.

She is also the Executive Director and founder of the Native American Children's Association. She recently wrote a book called "The Miracle of Mentoring: How to Mentor a Child in Ten Minutes or a Lifetime."

One section of Eleanor's training attempted to answer the perennial question of why battered women stay with abusive partners.

The trainer pointed out that increasingly these days, women do not stay in abusive situations. "Even in cases where it appears they stay - or leave only to return time and time again - they are usually preparing to leave," Eleanor's training material states. "Because of the nature and intensity of the batterer's violence and threats, many battered women leave in stages, testing the environment to see if they and their children can safely escape and survive together."

When they do stay, it is often due to love and hope that he will change, fear of being killed, family pressure, tradition and religion, shame and guilt, economics, and/or the battering victim's childhood.

"As the abuse continues, the effects of the physical, emotional, and psychological abuse make it hard for these women to think clearly about their partners and accurately see the whole picture," one training handout states. "This is why counseling and/or support groups are crucial services for battered women. Such support groups may be the only source of information and care the battered woman has."

According to the child abuse hotline "From Darkness to Light," one in four girls and one in six boys are sexually abused before their 18th birthday. The median age for reported sexual abuse is nine years old, with 22 percent of victims of sexual abuse under the age of eight, according to Darkness to Light statistics.

If abuse is suspected, the thing to do is call a child advocacy center and talk to the child's parent (only if he or she is not the one suspected of abusing the child).

During a training discussion, Eleanor spoke about whether or not child abuse and sexual assault are actually on the rise, or if they are simply being reported more frequently these days.

"These problems are growing due to a growing lack of respect for women, and a growing lack of respect for children," she said. "Also the economy plays a role. Parents are away more, with both working. We need to find positive people and positive activities for our kids."

She also commented that it's crucial to keep hope alive: "We're looking at a generation of hopelessness."

To find out more about child abuse and/or child advocacy, call 1-800-239-9950. To discuss child abuse, call Darkness to Light, 1-866-FOR-LIGHT or 1-866-367-5444. Or, call the Childhelp USA National Child Abuse Hotline at 1-800-4-A-CHILD or 1-800-422-4453.